White Woman About To Make Unforgivable Mistake Tells Karaoke DJ To Drop The Mothafuckin’ Beat

CANTON, MI—Watching in horrified disbelief as the events transpired, witnesses confirmed Monday that local white woman Cara LaForgia was about to make several unforgivable mistakes when she told a karaoke DJ to drop the mothafuckin’ beat. “Well, she jumped up on stage, raised her hand in the air, and told the audience that shit was about to get real, so things can only go downhill from here,” local patron Cal Flemming said of the 32-year-old woman, who, when she called Wu-Tang “her boys” and gave a shout-out to Compton, did not yet realize she would have to apologize to her friends, family, and coworkers for her ignorance and the problematic nature of what she had done. “From the moment she took the mic and called herself ‘MC Cara,’ I knew she was in deep, deep trouble. She said, ‘MC Cara is in the club tonight. Put your hands up and show MC Cara some love.’ Then she asked where all her ‘bitches at.’ So yeah. I give it 10 more seconds before she does something so bad that she ultimately loses the love, respect, and support of every single person in her life.” At press time, the white woman had been escorted off the stage after “getting so into her flow” that she said the N-word multiple times.