Men Try To Guess Why They Give Women ‘The Ick’

“I’m not sure. I don’t actually read the police reports.”

“I am starting to suspect that suing them on the first date is not as charming as I thought.”

“Because feminism has brainwashed women into expecting men to bathe regularly.”

“It’s either that I slurp spaghetti or grope kids.”

“I haven’t heard this directly from anyone, but I’ve noticed a pattern where women tend to turn cooler to me when I kidnap and imprison them for really any length of time at all.”

“Beats me, and no woman ever tells me no matter how much I scream in their faces.”

“I’ve been told my heartbeat sounds feminine.”

“Probably sitting on the toilet while they’re on the toilet.”

“I think I sneezed once.”

“I’m just glad we’ve found a way to make ‘It’s just not a good fit’ sound meaner.”

“I guess because my Borat impression isn’t accurate enough.”

“My parents doomed me to this fate the second they named me Ralph.”

“I understand that shouting ‘Olly olly oxen free!’ at the end of hide-and-seek is super cringe to them.”

“Maybe it’s because when I’m on a date I’ve already quoted Andrew Tate twice before the appetizers arrive.”

“I guess when you’ve been a creep for 60 years, word starts to get around.”

“I actually think I’m great, and everyone in my evilwomensluts subreddit agrees.”

“Probably all of the felonies.”