PETERBOROUGH, NH—Clearing their throats as they hovered over you from behind, the nation’s quiet weirdos confirmed Thursday that they had seen you reading from afar. “I couldn’t help but notice you sitting here, engrossed in a fine volume of fiction,” said Sebastian Moore, a pale 22-year-old and one of several hundred odd and painfully introverted young men who, after an hour spent lurking at a distance from which they felt comfortable, suddenly approached and startled you as you sat in a coffee shop reading The Bell Jar. “Sylvia Plath. Your book there, it’s Sylvia Plath. Perhaps you’d wish to discuss it with me?” At press time, the nation’s quiet weirdos had reportedly all held out their smooth, clammy hands to you in a departing gesture.
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