Study Finds Scanning Items At Grocery Self-Checkout Even Cooler Than It Seemed As A Child

CORAL GABLES, FL—Noting how excited participants were even just to wait in line until it was their turn, a new study published by researchers at the University of Miami found that scanning items at a supermarket self-checkout was even cooler than it seemed when one was a child. “From the scanning itself to placing each item in the bagging area to pressing the button that indicates you wish to pay with a card, the adrenaline rush of finally getting to use the self-checkout like Mommy and Daddy appears to be unmatched in daily life,” said the study’s lead author, Jeremy Wain, adding that participants 18 and older unanimously agreed the thrill of scanning one’s groceries and rapidly making the machine beep and light up far exceeded anything they could have hoped for years ago when they were small children sitting in the seat of their parents’ shopping cart. “In fact, our research found it was invariably the most intense, euphoric sensation an adult felt during a given week. We observed the dopamine levels in the brain were especially high when an individual was carefully typing in the numbers for every different variety of produce in their basket.” The study also found using the gun to scan a big crate of water bottles below one’s cart produced the purest ecstasy a human being was capable of experiencing.