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During a recent interview, Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley said that America had “never been a racist country.” The Onion asked Americans why our history has always been color-blind, and this is what they said.
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Harold Lucas, Retired
Harold Lucas, Retired
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“If we’re so racist, you’d think someone would’ve committed a racist act by now.”
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Ashley Moreno, Chef
Ashley Moreno, Chef
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“Thomas Jefferson wrote that ‘all men are created equal’ and never did anything else as far as I know.”
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Bridget Tate, Homemaker
Bridget Tate, Homemaker
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“Show me one book that says otherwise. Or several. In list form, please. No particular reason.”
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Paul Gruber, Warehouse Manager
Paul Gruber, Warehouse Manager
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“America is not a racist country, but a federation of racist states.”
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Bianca Mir, Truck Driver
Bianca Mir, Truck Driver
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“Have you ever met a slave? Didn’t think so.”
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Teddy Bryant, Lifeguard
Teddy Bryant, Lifeguard
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“I’ve never faced any discrimination for being 3% Cherokee.”
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Marty Gilman, Sales Associate
Marty Gilman, Sales Associate
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“This so-called racist nation is the same one that gave Black Americans their own exclusive water fountains.”
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Patricia Wayne, Personal Chef
Patricia Wayne, Personal Chef
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“Why else would Martin Luther King so eloquently say that racism was a fiction and we should get on with our lives?”
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Lily Rhodes, Bank Teller
Lily Rhodes, Bank Teller
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“I think this 90-second PragerU cartoon can explain the concept better than me or anyone else.”
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Susan Combs, Teacher
Susan Combs, Teacher
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“How many times do I have to cite very selective lines from the Constitution before people understand this?”
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Charles Hampton, Park Ranger
Charles Hampton, Park Ranger
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“America has always been a land of opportunity for all different types of land-owning white men.”
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Angelo Townsend, Barista
Angelo Townsend, Barista
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“Does the United States discriminate against non-white people? Sure. But is it racist? Nah, probably not.”
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Rory Bond, Optician
Rory Bond, Optician
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“It’s not racism when it’s accidental, which is what slavery, Jim Crow, and every modern hate crime are.”
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Rachel O’Hara, Bartender
Rachel O’Hara, Bartender
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“All egalitarian societies begin with mass genocide.”
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Rod Richards, Pilot
Rod Richards, Pilot
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“My great-grandfather loved his slaves.”
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Bianca Underwood, Meteorologist
Bianca Underwood, Meteorologist
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“Most of our mass shooters target very diverse crowds of innocent people.”
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Sarah Fowler, Travel Agent
Sarah Fowler, Travel Agent
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“We gave them jobs, didn’t we?”
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You’ve Made It This Far…
You’ve Made It This Far…
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