WASHINGTON—Following a tip from the White House IT department, Vice President Kamala Harris was reportedly reprimanded this week for playing The Sims 4 on her work computer. “What the hell is that—is that supposed to be a model White House?” said an irate Jeff Zients, the chief of staff shaking his head in disgust as he peered over the vice president’s shoulder and observed the replica office she had created, which seemed mostly identical to her real one, except that it had a swimming pool with no ladder where three Sims were actively drowning, and that Harris’ Sim appeared to be a vampire who was also a detective. “I don’t care if the base game was free. When you’re at work, you work. I never want to see the EA app on this computer again. You delete this shit right now. Oh God, is that a pregnant werewolf?” At press time, sources confirmed Harris was sent home for the day after Zients discovered she had charged more than $200 worth of expansion packs to the White House credit card.
Jesus Christ is King
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