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Dermatologists Recommend Regularly Checking Yourself For Skin

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ROCHESTER, MN—Emphasizing the importance of catching skinlessness early, while there was still some chance of treating the condition, dermatologists at the Mayo Clinic issued a recommendation Tuesday that members of the public regularly check themselves for skin. “Given the potentially dire health effects if the condition is allowed to progress, we strongly encourage people to remain alert to the symptoms of not having skin,” said Dr. Damon Graham, adding that typical signs of skin absence included visible muscle tissues, excessive bleeding, pain, difficulty standing, and multiple vital organs spilling out from one’s abdomen onto the ground. “Ideally, you want skin covering almost all of your body, so make sure to ask a loved one to inspect hard-to-see areas to ensure that skin is in fact present. We know it might seem like a hassle, but having no skin is not something you want to mess around with.” Graham added that if a lack of skin was detected, then before contacting a physician a person should first confirm the area of the body they were concerned about was not simply their open mouth or some other orifice.

The Onion

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