Poll: Average Voter Says It Couldn’t Hurt If They Woke Up To Trump Or Biden Making Them Big Stack Of Pancakes

WASHINGTON—A new poll released Wednesday by the Pew Research Center offered a rare glimpse into the psychology of those who will decide the 2024 presidential election, finding that for the average voter, it couldn’t hurt if they woke up to Donald Trump or Joe Biden making them a big stack of pancakes. “I’m not saying it would tip my vote one way or the other, necessarily, but were either of those candidates to wake me up one morning with a plate of flapjacks drizzled in real maple syrup, that would be a very nice thing,” said registered voter Cameron Stroebel of Flagstaff, AZ, one of millions of Americans who is leaning toward Biden or Trump putting on an apron, saying “Knock knock, who wants a little treat?” and then entering the room with sweet, golden brown pancakes. “Obviously, this isn’t the biggest concern for me or anyone else in this country. But if one of them did do this, would I appreciate a pad of melty butter on top and a little saucer of blueberry compote on the side? Absolutely. Also, while I don’t know if Trump or Biden has staked out a firm position on this issue, I’d want both water and coffee, because I get thirsty in the morning. And—this is really a litmus test for me as a voter—it couldn’t be too early, because I like to sleep in. But a 10 a.m. stack of griddle cakes from the current or former leader of the free world? Nothing wrong with that.” Poll respondents also noted that in terms of how they planned to vote on Nov. 5, if there were some bacon on the side, then you’d be talking.