Jesus' Coming Back

Overprotective Parent Completely Overreacts To Kids Pelting Son With Rocks

Image for article titled Overprotective Parent Completely Overreacts To Kids Pelting Son With Rocks

HILLSBOROUGH, NC—Running over after they saw a man screaming at their children, a group of local parents reportedly stepped in Thursday to confront an overprotective parent who was overreacting to their kids pelting his son with rocks. “Classic helicopter parenting, going absolutely ballistic over every little rock that collides with his child’s skull,” said Alison Ryland, 43, who argued that a 7-year-old being clobbered with stones for having two dads was an important rite of passage and that coddling the boy now wasn’t going to do him any favors, considering a day would inevitably come when he encountered another barrage of rocks and there wasn’t anyone around to intervene. “You can’t expect to cushion every blow to the head he’s going to experience in life, so it’s better to give him the tools he needs to shield his face with his forearms and take it until his assailants tire themselves out. If his daddy fights all his battles for him, he’ll never get used to rocks coming at him from every direction, opening up multiple wounds, and causing severe blood loss.” Ryland went on to say that the overreacting dad was freaking out way more than the unconscious kid anyway.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More