Church Pit Crew Rushes To Change Pastor Out Of Suit Into Hawaiian Shirt For Contemporary Service

WICHITA, KS — With mere seconds to work with after the traditional service went long, the First Baptist Church pit crew rushed in to change Pastor Gary out of his suit and into a Hawaiian shirt before the contemporary service.

“This is what we trained for!” shouted Associate Pastor Marvin Harper as he raced to grab Pastor Gary’s most flowery Hawaiian print. “Feet up, Pastor! Dress shoes off, sandals on! I need someone on buttons! Move, move move, people!!”

Though always a quick turnaround after the eight o’clock service to get Pastor Gary looking contemporary, the traditional service ran exceptionally late today after Bessie the organist’s rendition of “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus” included two unexpected refrains. “We were under the gun – there’s so much to do to transform Pastor Gary,” explained Harper. “There’s the cordless microphone to be taped on, a floppy leather Bible to give him, and we have to get him out of his glasses and into contacts. It’s a team effort to make it happen, and we’re really blessed with an amazing pit crew here at First Baptist.”

At publishing time, the pit crew had quickly reminded Pastor Gary that for the contemporary service he had to say the word “just” several extra times during prayers.

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee