Jesus' Coming Back

Stanley Cups Revealed To Contain Lead

Social media users recently raised the alarm about the presence of lead in virally popular Stanley cups, which the company admits to using in the vacuum-sealed lining that keeps drinks’ temperature stable; however, experts say there is no real risk to user safety as the small amount of lead is covered in stainless steel and does not come into contact with the drink or skin during normal use. What do you think?

“They’re great for transporting my uranium rods.”

Blake Hinkamp, Incense Enthusiast

“I like that they keep the government from x-raying my drinks.”

Eileen Markley, Reddit Avatar Designer

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“No way, I contain lead too!”

Damien Feldman, Salmon Smoker

The Onion

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