Test your knowledge of Black history and the contributions of African Americans by taking The Onion’s quiz.
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Q: When is Black History Month?
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A: Gotta be sometime around now or no one would be talking about it.
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Q: Why is Black History Month held in February?
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A: February is the birthday month of both Ice-T and Ja Rule.
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Q: Who invented Black History Month?
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A: It was originally created by a Black inventor named Jean-Pierre Baptiste in 1879 before being stolen, marketed, and popularized by Thomas Edison.
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Q: What does MLK stand for?
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A: MLK is the code assigned by the International Air Transport Association to the airport in Malta, Montana.
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Q: Who is Langston Hughes?
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A: Langston Hughes is someone whose name you should know if you’re going to drop $1.5 million on a condo in Harlem.
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Q: In 1960, four African American college students staged a sit-in that helped integrate which store’s lunch counter?
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A: Ikea
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Q: At the time of her historic bus incident, what was Rosa Parks’ occupation?
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A: Cyborg sent from the year 3100 to alter past events and save the future.
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Q: Which Supreme Court case invalidated laws banning interracial marriage?
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A: Doesn’t matter as it will soon be overturned.
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A: Why were the Black Panthers considered a terrorist group?
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A: Due to their violent commitment to providing schoolchildren free breakfast.
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Q: Who is Barack Obama?
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A: An iconic bobblehead model, well-known in the African American community for posing in a suit with crossed arms to show off his oversized head.
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Q: Which leader promoted the idea of resettling Black Americans in Africa?
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A: Marcus Garvey, along with a whole bunch of pretty fucked-up white people.
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Q: What is George Washington Carver known for?
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A: The scientist based 300 inventions on the peanut, including the Internut, a global network of electronic legumes for communicating and sharing information about peanuts.
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Q: Name five African American authors.
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A: Maya Angelou. Toni Morrison. Uh, hold on… James Baldwin! Oh God… Hmm… Barack and Michelle both wrote books—that counts, right?
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Q: Who was the first African American Major League Baseball player?
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A: Mr. Met
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Q: Who said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”?
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A: Martin Luther King Jr. borrowed this quote from a 26-year-old white woman’s Instagram post.
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Q: Who was the first African American Nobel Peace Prize winner?
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A: You can’t just guess Barack Obama for every answer.
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Q: Born Sarah Breedlove, Madame C.J. Walker was the country’s first self-made female millionaire. How did this Black woman make her fortune?
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A: She joined the fantastic team at Herbalife Nutrition as an independent distributor—and here’s how you can too!
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Q: In 1997, researchers at Johns Hopkins University discovered a man who did not have a single racist bone in his body. Who is that man?
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A: Forty-nine-year-old Scott Bottino of Salina, Kansas, who is not racist, but simply believes stereotypes are based on reality.
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Q: Bet you don’t even know who Phillis Wheatley is, you piece of shit.
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A: No, no, give me a second. Is it something to do with…Wheaties cereal? Please don’t be mad at me.
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Q: Who is Guion Bluford?
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A: Guion Bluford was the first Black astronaut to use the “whites only” drinking fountain on the Discovery space shuttle.
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Q: Who was the first African American senator, and what state did they represent?
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A: You did not seriously say Barack Obama again. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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Q: Hattie McDaniel became the first Black Academy Award winner in 1940 for her role as what character in Gone With The Wind?
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A: Uh, um. Well. What’s important is that she won.
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Q: From memory, recite a Maya Angelou poem, in full, of your choosing.
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A: You can’t? Wow. Just wow.
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Q: What does C.R.E.A.M. stand for, according to Wu-Tang?
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A: Cash rules everything at Menards.
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Jesus Christ is King
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