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Introverted Cowboy Struggling To Round Up Posse

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BANDERA, TX—Admitting that he was actually a lot more shy and reserved than folks might think, introverted cowboy Cassidy Walsh sheepishly told reporters Friday that he’d been struggling lately to round up a posse. “While I might seem confident and outgoing at times, the truth is, I’m the sort of feller who needs to recharge at the end of a long day ridin’ the range with a bunch of cowhands,” said Walsh, adding that he also experienced “a might fair bit of social anxiety” that probably stemmed from a fear his attempts to organize a posse would end in rejection. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with ol’ buckaroos like myself. It’s just that your pal Cassidy can only handle so much hootin’ and hollerin’ before he plumb runs out of steam. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna kick up my spurs and snuggle up in my bedroll with a Louis L’Amour novel.” At press time, another successful train robbery had reportedly been carried out in the area by a tireless gang of extroverted outlaws.

The Onion

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