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Chuck Grassley Pushes For Legislation To Reduce Stagecoach Robberies

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WASHINGTON—Noting that such violent ambushes had skyrocketed over the years he’d been in office, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) pushed for legislation Wednesday to combat stagecoach robberies. “While Democrats remain soft on crime, these dastardly bandits continue to roam the plains, robbing our nation’s hardworking prospectors blind,” said Grassley, who called on the government to crack down on the rampant violence preventing thousands of brave ladies and gentlemen from hitting the dusty trail and seeking gold out west. “As long as these mustachioed outlaws continue to hop into wagons, spook the horses, and make off with their weight in jewels and other finery, no one is safe. This is what happens when Joe Biden defunds the sheriff.” Grassley also made an impassioned plea that the National Guard be dispatched in order to find and kill Butch Cassidy.

The Onion

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