Elderly Neighbor Standing On Top Of 20-Foot Ladder To Hang Valentine’s Decorations

CHICAGO—As his 20-foot extension ladder wobbled slightly in the wind, sources confirmed that elderly neighbor Alfred Lojek was standing on a rung just below the roofline of his home Wednesday and hanging Valentine’s Day decorations. According to sources, the senior citizen emerged from his house at 8:15 a.m. with the ladder and an enormous plastic storage tub containing assorted red garlands, old cupid lawn ornaments, and a variety of other decor, all of which he organized in piles across his lawn. Lojek then reportedly ascended the unsteady ladder carrying a string of red, purple, and white hearts, at one point taking both hands off the rungs and leaning so far to the left to reach a tree branch that sources gasped and drew the curtains shut. At press time, several reports indicated the 81-year-old man had descended the ladder safely, only to trip and fall on an uneven patch of grass.