Jesus' Coming Back

Las Vegas Super Bowl Drives Record-Breaking Ticket Prices

Between fans eager to see the spectacle of Vegas, Taylor Swift’s possible attendance, the star-studded halftime lineup, and the game itself, Super Bowl LVIII ticket prices have been driven up to a median of $8,776 per ticket and demand is still high, with one ticket resale service owner remarking that “billionaires are going to have trouble parking their planes.” What do you think?

“It’s not so bad if you share a seat with 50 of your buddies.”

Gretchen Ruffini, Lake Dredger

“Yeah, but it’s only $4,000 if you watch from home.”

Joel Moayedi, Hospice Greeter

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“Is there a matinee showing of the Super Bowl I could attend?”

Drew Alston, Truck Fueler

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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