NEW YORK—Appearing in 60-second spot in which he praised the virtue of playing it safe and held up a crisp new $100 bill, actor Matt Damon starred in a Super Bowl commercial Sunday that promoted paper money. “Fortune favors whoever gets their hands on cold hard American currency,” said Damon, who is seen placing large bundles of cash in a shoebox under his bed, in his kitchen freezer, and in a hole he has dug in his backyard. “When the shit hits the fan, you don’t want to be stuck trying to remember your password so you can access funds from some half-baked investment scheme you sunk all your money into. History is filled with people who lost their live savings that way. And yet there are others who recognize that cash is king. Which are you?” At press time, Damon’s commercial came under fire from critics who advocate hoarding bars of gold under the floorboards of their living rooms.
Jesus Christ is King
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