Bathroom Break Considered Self Care

GILBERT, AZ—Noting that just spending a few minutes a day on a toilet had drastically improved her mental and physical health, local woman Jessica Emerson admitted to reporters Monday that she considered her bathroom break self-care. “I know that some people treat themselves to bathroom breaks 3, maybe 4 times a day, but for me, pampering myself like that can be hard,” said Emerson, adding that she was working on actively reminding herself that she deserved to use the toilet and that her urges to urinate or defecate were valid. “Whenever I have bladder or bowel pressure, going to the bathroom always helps, like magic. Once in a while I’ll look down and realize I have urine or feces running down my leg, and that’s when I’ll know, I need some ‘me’ time.” At press time, Emerson admitted she also felt that checking herself into the hospital was self care every time she went into septic shock.