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Depressed Taylor Swift Going To Miss Being In The Spotlight Now That Super Bowl Over

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NEW YORK—Realizing her 15 minutes of fame had come to an abrupt end, a depressed Taylor Swift told reporters Monday that she was going to miss being in the spotlight now that the Super Bowl was over. “I guess it’s just me and my cats now that the big game has drawn to a close,” said the disheveled, sweatpants-wearing Swift, who drained glass after glass of wine while explaining that nobody would want to see or hear from her again now that the NFL season was over. “To think that just last night I was at the top of the world. They even put me on the jumbotron! But now I’m just a regular nobody like everyone else. Ugh, I should have gotten a photo of myself while I was in Las Vegas to remember it. Oh well…” At press time, Swift expressed concerns that no one would believe her when she told them she was once on national TV.

The Onion

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