WASHINGTON, D.C. — As questions about President Joe Biden’s mental capabilities continued to mount, Vice President Kamala Harris was reportedly seen practicing her presidential cackle over the weekend.
With the 25th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution providing a pathway for Biden’s removal from office, Harris was witnessed devoting extra time to leveling up her trademark laughter to ensure it is befitting of the Leader of the Free World.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she giggled despite being by herself in her office. “Yes, I’m definitely on the right track here. More gravitas. More powerful. When a world leader asks you a question, and you don’t know the answer, do what you’ve always done and burst out into laughter. ‘How do you propose to ease tensions with the Chinese government, President Harris?’ BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Though reports of Harris and members of Biden’s cabinet discussing the use of the 25th Amendment remained unconfirmed, political experts were confident that the vice president was taking clear steps toward preparing herself for the nation’s highest office. “These are tell-tale signs she wants to be ready,” said Professor Blake Rumsey of the Presidential History Institute. “Not only is she upgrading her cackle but we’ve also heard rumors that she has been learning to read, which is a significant development.”
At publishing time, Harris downplayed reports of her practicing a presidential cackle. “Laughter is the best medicine,” she said, “And when we need medicine, we need laughter. Medicine itself is highly medicinal and makes us feel better. And laughter is laughing.”
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?
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