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Most Common Porn Searches On Valentine’s Day

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Romance is in the air on Valentine’s Day, but those who aren’t lucky enough to have a partner will have to be satisfied with the pleasure of their own company. Here are the most common porn searches on Valentine’s Day.

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Nothing Empty Silence JOI

Nothing Empty Silence JOI

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The experience of staring at a howling void of quietude for 45 hours straight is said to be a tantric practice that leads to incredible climaxes.

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Valentine’s Day Box Gets All Holes Stuffed With Cards

Valentine’s Day Box Gets All Holes Stuffed With Cards

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And hey, there’s some Spider-Man-themed pencils in there too!

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Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens Still Alive

Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens Still Alive

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A beautiful sentiment and one that gets off couples and singles alike.

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How To Tell If Boyfriend Cheating

How To Tell If Boyfriend Cheating

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This was meant for Google.

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Flaccid Bald Man Apologizes That He Can’t Get It Up

Flaccid Bald Man Apologizes That He Can’t Get It Up

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Sometimes, you just want to masturbate to what you know.

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Diamond Engagement Ring Hidden In Butthole

Diamond Engagement Ring Hidden In Butthole

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Romance isn’t dead.

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Interracial BBW Loving Relationship

Interracial BBW Loving Relationship

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It all comes down to love and respect.

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Dog With No Penis

Dog With No Penis

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Hey, people like what they like.

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Fred Flintstone But Real Life

Fred Flintstone But Real Life

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Nearly 3% say they have a so-called “realification” fetish, which is likely what has racked up millions of views for this 91-minute video starring John Goodman

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A Dozen Red Cocks

A Dozen Red Cocks

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‘The Notebook’ Then Bed Before 9

‘The Notebook’ Then Bed Before 9

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Not all fantasies are realistic.

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Path Of Rose Petals Leading To Glory Hole

Path Of Rose Petals Leading To Glory Hole

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There’s nothing more romantic than coming home to a line of candles and rose petals leading to a single hole in the wall

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Teddy Bear Huge Ass

Teddy Bear Huge Ass

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Sometimes factory defects are turn-ons.

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Last-Minute Flower Delivery

Last-Minute Flower Delivery

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No flower shops had any left, so may as well try asking here.

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Edible Outerwear

Edible Outerwear

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A cherry sweatshirt sounds really good right now.

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Strawberry Creampie

Strawberry Creampie

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Baffling how they get their ejaculate so pink, but appropriately seasonal.

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87 Happy Years Together Then Die Holding Hands

87 Happy Years Together Then Die Holding Hands

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This one’s actually the most popular search term every day.

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Amateur Homemade Meal

Amateur Homemade Meal

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Grainy cell phone footage of a nice warm dinner made from scratch by a home cook.

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2ryt-79g3upb;fd

2ryt-79g3upb;fd

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This is the result of a pervert attempting to pleasure his laptop by stimulating the keyboard.

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Woman Knitting And Smiling

Woman Knitting And Smiling

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She seems really satisfied being alone.

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Suicide Hotline

Suicide Hotline

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Must have accidentally typed that into the wrong search bar.

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Step-Sensei Stuck In Dojo

Step-Sensei Stuck In Dojo

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The sub must become the dom.

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Man Cucked By Less Dominant Hand

Man Cucked By Less Dominant Hand

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He gets off on the humiliation of not being as good at pleasuring himself with his left hand.

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Cupid Stuck In Washing Machine

Cupid Stuck In Washing Machine

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Nothing says Valentine’s Day like watching a fat naked man with wings struggle to free himself from an appliance.

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Computer Erase History

Computer Erase History

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Quick, computer. Erase history before wife get home.

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You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…

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