United Nations Warns Israeli Attack On Rafah Could Lead To More Hostages Being Rescued

NEW YORK, NY — Officials with the United Nations are condemning the Israeli attack on Rafah to rescue two hostages, warning that such attacks could lead to even more hostages being rescued.

“These atrocious and inhumane rescue missions cannot be allowed to continue,” said Palestinian Ambassador Riyad Mansour. “With every flagrant incursion into Gaza to rescue hostages, Israel violates our human right to kidnap, rape, torture, and imprison Jews, who I might add are being treated very well by our noble Hamas freedom fighters.”

Experts further warned that if Israel continues to rescue hostages, Gaza will lose all the leverage they need to release terrorists from prison.

President Biden also chimed in, expressing his concern about the attack on Rafah. “I know that sometimes when you… I… you know… well, anyway,” he said. “Flurbriddle cornswallop. Not a joke. I’m serious!”

At publishing time, the Senate had also responded by voting to send another $5 billion to Hamas.

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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Babylon Bee