10 Lesser-Known Plagues God Used To Smite The Egyptians

Brought to you by: Hillsdale College

Most people are familiar with the story of Moses telling Pharaoh to free the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and the powerful plagues God inflicted upon Egypt when Pharaoh refused, but hardly anyone knows about the other plagues the Lord visited upon them.

Through extensive research, The Babylon Bee has uncovered the following list of lesser-known plagues that devastated the land of Egypt:

1. Causing the WiFi to go down for 15 whole minutes: It was nearly impossible to get anything done.
2. Floor Legos: They covered the entire land. It was a time of horrific pain and suffering.
3. Every Egyptian had to attend a mandatory 2-hour DEI seminar: You can’t say no to HR.
4. Inflamed tastebuds right on the tips of their tongues: Man, those things are annoying.
5. All shopping carts had one squeaky, wobbly wheel: Every trip to the store was a loathsome experience.
6. The gay frogs: You’ve heard about the plague of frogs? The gay ones were even worse.
7. Turning the Nile River into Bud Light: It’s what turned the frogs gay.
8. Every day was the temperature where you’re a little warm in long sleeves but cold in short sleeves: The Egyptians had no clue about how they should dress.
9. Really, really high pollen count: Those allergies are killer.
10. The hemorrhoid incident: Thankfully, God was merciful and left this one out of the Bible.

With plagues like those, it’s no wonder Pharoah and the Egyptians were in such a hurry to let the Israelites go after everything they had to endure!

NOT SATIRE: Discover the Beauty of the Bible

The Book of Exodus tells the miraculous story of how God showed His people that He was above all other gods by delivering them from slavery. Enroll today in Hillsdale’s newest free online course, “The Exodus Story,” to discover God’s awesome power for yourself.

Start your free course today!

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee