Trump Tries To Get Out Of Hush-Money Trial By Scheduling Dentist Appointment For Same Day

NEW YORK—Emphasizing the importance of gum health, former President Donald Trump reportedly tried to get out of his hush-money trial this week by scheduling a dentist appointment for the same day. “Sorry, I really want to go to trial on Mar. 25, but unfortunately I have a teeth-cleaning appointment that day,” said Trump, explaining to Justice Juan Merchan of the New York Supreme Court that the dentist was all booked up until after the November election, so he had to do it now. “You wouldn’t want me to give testimony while still under the effects of anesthesia, would you? I’d try to swing by the courthouse after, but those things always run long, especially if they need to fill a cavity or something.” At press time, Trump claimed that if prosecutors really wanted him to appear before the court, they would have to front his $75 million dentist cancellation fee.