Greece Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage In Bid To Do More Of That Wedding Dance They Do

ATHENS, GREECE—With passage of the law marking a first for a majority Orthodox Christian nation, Greece officially legalized same-sex marriage Thursday in a bid to do more of that wedding dance they do, according to members of Parliament. “This is a historic moment that will dramatically increase the number of times a year we get to do that fun dance we Greeks have at all our weddings,” said center-right Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis, whose government was backed by four left-wing parties in stauch support of joining hands or holding that piece of fabric they hold and moving in rhythm with one another in that “whole elaborate number” they always do at the reception after somebody gets married. “This is a long-overdue win for all those who never had the opportunity to join the big circle in which we go around in one direction for a while, and then go around in the other direction for a while. May we all take this moment to remove our suit jackets, unbutton our dress shirts, and intermittently exclaim ‘Opa!’ while moving in a synchronized fashion to the sound of a… What is that? A bouzouki? Probably it’s a bouzouki.” At press time, the streets of Athens reportedly rang out with that “Ba-da-da-da, ba-da-da-da” song they do that dance to.