Texas Woman’s Hair Puffs Up During Confrontation In Walmart Parking Lot To Intimidate Rivals

GRAPEVINE, TX—In the midst of a skirmish over someone’s cart blocking a parking spot at Walmart, sources confirmed the hair of local woman Deena Platt puffed up to several times its usual size Friday, intimidating her rival female shoppers. According to witnesses, after Platt paused to take a long drag off her Virginia Slim cigarette, the bouffant atop her heavily made-up face more than tripled in volume, and she towered over a smaller-coiffed Texan in a powerful display of territorial dominance. Following a tense standoff, Platt’s clumpy-mascaraed eyes are said to have narrowed and her fluffy bangs unrolled into a fan of long, sharp spikes, forcing her opponent to scamper away in defeat. At press time, the impressive display had reportedly landed Platt the attention of several large-hatted potential mates.