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World Leaders On Navalny Death: ‘Putin Will Go Unpunished’

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BRUSSELS—Implicating the Russian leader directly for his role in Alexei Navalny’s passing, world leaders issued a joint statement Friday pledging that President Vladimir Putin would go unpunished. “Mark our words, the European Union will spare no effort in ensuring that Putin experiences absolutely no repercussions for the outrageous death of a key opposition leader,” said European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, one of dozens of leaders who called the death a “horrific act of state violence” for which Putin and his regime would bear “virtually zero consequences.” “Navalny died in an Arctic prison for the mere act of speaking out against the corruption of Russia’s authoritarian government. Make no mistake: We will work tirelessly kowtowing to those who did this—bending down to all those who threaten the bedrock of liberalism upon which our democracies are built. Putin should sleep very soundly tonight.” At press time, the U.S. House of Representatives had reacted in solidarity to the statement with an arms bill guaranteeing $0 of aid to the Ukrainian military.

The Onion

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