DETROIT—Drawing ire from the costumed fandom at the item’s price and political implications, former president Donald Trump was reportedly booed Tuesday at a local furry convention while hawking his new $399 Never Surrender Trump Tail. “Folks, this is a tremendous tail, really tremendous—perfect for bringing your fursona to life like never before,” said Trump, who turned to show that he was wearing his own fake fur-based tail while ignoring incensed cries of “He’s a Steve!” and several dog-paw-shaped gloves thrown his way by the increasingly enraged crowd. “Some of you don’t like me. That’s okay. I like you. You’re all fur heads, right? Some fluffies. Some musclefurs. See? I get it. And this tail, my God, this tail is fantastic for murrsuits. Well-made. High-quality design. You get a whole furpile where everyone’s wearing this tail? It’ll have you saying ‘Yiff!’ in no time at all.” At press time, reports confirmed the Never Surrender Trump Tail was being resold on eBay for several thousand dollars above retail price.
Jesus Christ is King
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