9 Items Conservatives Must Stockpile To Protect Themselves In Case Biden Wins

Brought to you by: My Patriot Supply

With Joe Biden somehow still alive and Kamala Harris less likable than bunions, it looks like Biden will be up for re-election. Should Joe Biden win in November, preparation will be key. But what exactly should conservatives start hoarding in case that happens?

The Babylon Bee has put together the following helpful list of must-haves for conservatives in the event of another four years of Biden:

1. Adult diapers: Just so Biden can’t have them. Vive la résistance!
2. Cows: After Biden bans them for farting too much, ribeyes will be in short supply.
3. History books that show pictures of white people: As Google AI has shown, history could look a lot different in a few years.
4. One of those maps to push little plastic soldiers around on: A convenient and fun way to keep track of everything that happens during World War 3.
5. Virtual reality goggles: Made for such a time as this!
6. Earplugs: Odds are, you’ll be hearing a lot of Kamala cackling before too long.
7. Babies: We’re going to need to stockpile a lot of them to turn things around.
8. Ibuprofen: You’ll have plenty of headaches from bashing your head into a wall every day.
9. Extra pair of golden Trump sneakers: Click your heels three times, you may just find yourself back in the America you remember.

What are you waiting for? November is right around the corner. Get to work and start stockpiling now!

NOT SATIRE: THOSE WHO FAIL TO PREPARE ARE PREPARED TO FAIL.

WILL YOU BE ONE OF THEM?

When disaster strikes, people start to panic. When people panic, they begin panic-buying. Panic-buying causes shortages, and shortages lead to chaos.

ANYTHING could happen once chaos arrives…

The sad reality is that MOST people will be in this boat. They won’t prepare and instead will rely on faulty supply chains, corrupt power structures, and unstable infrastructure to keep them — and their families — safe, fed, and secure.

By the time they realize their mistake, it will be too late.

Don’t be one of them…

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EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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Babylon Bee