Rather than getting on a treadmill or going for a run, one way to get a good workout in is to take off your clothes and rub your genitals against someone else’s naked body. The following are the best ways to burn calories while having sexual intercourse.
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Have Sex Climbing Stairs Instead Of In An Elevator
Have Sex Climbing Stairs Instead Of In An Elevator
It may not be a lot at once, but it will add up after enough trips up and down to your apartment or office.
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Intermittent Sex Fasting
Intermittent Sex Fasting
Try the 16/8 approach, where you sex for eight hours a day and then you abstain for the other 16.
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Have A Threesome With Other Two Partners At Either End Of A Football Field
Have A Threesome With Other Two Partners At Either End Of A Football Field
You’ll burn loads of calories while sprinting the hundred yards between sexual partners.
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Walking Your Partner Around On All Fours
Walking Your Partner Around On All Fours
Ideally for 30 minutes three times a week.
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Eat Butter During Foreplay To Achieve Ketosis
Eat Butter During Foreplay To Achieve Ketosis
Be sure to incorporate the urine test strips.
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Only Swallow Low-Calorie Semen
Only Swallow Low-Calorie Semen
This won’t help you burn calories, but it will mean you have to burn less to get the body you want.
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Run, Don’t Drive To ER When You Have Erection Lasting more than Four Hours
Run, Don’t Drive To ER When You Have Erection Lasting more than Four Hours
Rather than hopping into your car, make the best of a bad situation by running and burning a few calories instead.
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Opt For Heavier Camera Equipment To Record Wife Having Sex With Another Man
Opt For Heavier Camera Equipment To Record Wife Having Sex With Another Man
Get a better burn lifting up an old-school camcorder as opposed to your lightweight iPhone 15.
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Running Start
Running Start
Don’t forget to clear a path so you won’t trip.
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Wearing Genital Weights
Wearing Genital Weights
Just a couple pounds hung on the scrotum or inserted into the vagina can add a lot of calorie-burning resistance.
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Have Sex With The Daughter Of An Overprotective Farmer Who Will Chase After You For Miles When He Finds Out You Sullied Her Innocence
Have Sex With The Daughter Of An Overprotective Farmer Who Will Chase After You For Miles When He Finds Out You Sullied Her Innocence
Sure, you’ll technically be getting your workout after sex instead of during it, but exercise is exercise.
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Use A Crank-Operated Sex Doll
Use A Crank-Operated Sex Doll
Sometimes the old ways are best.
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Repeatedly Use Mouth Muscles To Ask If Your Partner Came
Repeatedly Use Mouth Muscles To Ask If Your Partner Came
You lose a few calories every time your mouth muscles move when you talk, even if your partner says ‘no’ every time.
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Wear A Weighted Vest
Wear A Weighted Vest
Strapping that bad boy on will be your new favorite part of foreplay.
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Fail Making Your Partner Climax In Multiple Positions
Fail Making Your Partner Climax In Multiple Positions
The shame combined with all the moving around will burn at least a few hundred calories.
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Only Fuck People You Feel Judged By
Only Fuck People You Feel Judged By
The insecurity you’ll feel will make you push yourself even harder during the deed.
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Avoid Condoms
Avoid Condoms
Condoms can add half an ounce of weight to the body, so it’s better to leave them out.
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You’ve Made It This Far…
You’ve Made It This Far…
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