New Study Finds Cavemen Had Trouble Sticking To Paleo Diet Without Frozen Meal Kits

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Noting how difficult it was to endure the strict, no-frills program while foraging their own food, a new study published Wednesday by the University of Virginia found that cavemen had trouble sticking to the paleo diet without frozen meal kits. “For early human ancestors, it was a real challenge to restrict their daily food intake without the help of subscription services to deliver precooked dishes directly to their door,” said lead researcher Daniel Franklin, adding that millions of years ago, services like Factor, Daily Harvest, or even HelloFresh finally allowed cavemen to take the thought process out of meal time and finally stick to a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean meats, fish, eggs, nuts, and seeds. “While fossil evidence indicates that cavemen were often enthusiastic about the paleo diet at first, by the second or third week, they would often go out and impulse hunt or gather some ultra-processed food that would totally throw off their progress. Thankfully, these services took the guesswork of meal prep for our ancestors and allowed them to eliminate cheat days and evolve into the humans we are today.” At press time, Franklin added that his team had also found evidence indicating that early humans developed agriculture after a caveman attempting to do Whole 30 got a really bad craving for processed grain.