Blue Origin Builds $8 Billion Barrel For Jeff Bezos To Ride Over Niagara Falls

KENT, WA—After seven years of what it described as painstaking research and development, Blue Origin unveiled Thursday an $8 billion barrel it had built for Jeff Bezos to ride over Niagara Falls. “Ever since Mr. Bezos was a boy, he has dreamt about soaring 188 feet down through the air in a barrel, and we’re proud to announce that now, due to the work of some of the finest minds in aerospace engineering, those dreams will become a reality,” said CEO Dave Limp, who touted the rocket-powered titanium barrel—dubbed the New Taylor, in honor of early Niagara Falls plummeter Annie Edson Taylor—as an incredible breakthrough in the field of waterfall exploration. “While plunging over the falls, he will experience total weightlessness. Mr. Bezos may be the first passenger aboard this barrel, but soon, we hope to usher in a whole new era of Niagara Falls tourism. Thank you to NASA for your amazing partnership.” At press time, Bezos was criticized for technically only traveling to the edge of the waterfall.