HOUSTON, TX — The world is celebrating today after news broke that mankind had landed on the Moon for the first time since Wallace and Gromit did so in 1989.
The achievement, last accomplished by the famed British inventor and his loyal dog, marked the end of a lengthy drought of human activity on the earth’s Moon, as a remote-operated lander made by private space exploration firm Intuitive Machines successfully landed on its surface.
“It is with great pride that we follow in the footsteps of Wallace and Gromit,” said a spokesperson from Intuitive Machines. “After we saw them land on the Moon back in 1989, it became our mission to one day do the same. Without their pioneering achievement, we wouldn’t be here today.”
Intuitive Machines’ mission control team had already gathered important data from the lander, including locating the site where Wallace and Gromit had enjoyed a light snack of cheese carved directly from the surface. “We found the marks where they had sliced their cheese,” the spokesperson said. “Lunar conditions have left the site pristinely preserved.”
Over the course of its mission, the lander is expected to collect a load of cheese for analysis and scout potential locations for establishing a future lunar outpost. “We’re working hand-in-hand with governments around the world to find a good spot. The governments and other powerful secret organizations will then corrupt it for nefarious use shortly thereafter.”
At publishing time, Intuitive Machines was also preparing to have the lander carve a special commemorative inscription paying homage to Wallace and Gromit in the Moon’s surface cheese.
It’s a serious medical emergency: you’re minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee
Comments are closed.