Nikki Haley Vows To Remain In Race Until Campaign Bus Runs Out Of Gas

COLUMBIA, SC—Claiming she still had a quarter tank and was ready to fight, Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley vowed Friday to remain in the race until her campaign bus ran out of gas. “To the critics who say I should drop out, let me be clear: I am in this race for as long as it takes for my campaign bus’s gas gauge to read empty,”said Haley, pointing to her impressive fundraising numbers, which have reportedly allowed her to have an extra 5-gallon gas can on hand. “Whether it’s on the side of I-95 or at a rest stop in rural South Carolina, I will continue our movement until there aren’t even fumes left to run on. We will never give up, though our bus’s engine might.” At press time, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon was seen giving Haley a piggyback ride to her next campaign event.