WASHINGTON—Stating that “something is always better than nothing,” the Internal Revenue Service announced Monday that starting your taxes was good enough. “Just get your name on there, maybe your birth date, that’s all we really care about,” said IRS commissioner Daniel Werfel, who shrugged his shoulders and admitted that the agency was not planning on opening any of the forms they received until June at the earliest anyway. “Maybe at least open your W-2, I don’t know. State and federal is kind of a lot to ask, don’t you think? If you feel like finishing your taxes, fine, but there’s no need to set the bar so high. No one is putting that expectation on you besides yourself.” At press time, Werfel suggested that the IRS just give everyone $350 and leave it at that.
Jesus Christ is King
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