YEREVAN, ARMENIA—Facing a mountain of backlash following her electoral victory, former first daughter Sasha Obama was accused of nepotism Tuesday after reportedly winning the Armenian presidency. “She doesn’t meet any of the eligibility requirements—she’s only 22 years old, and I highly doubt she has Armenian citizenship,” said 43-year-old Yuri Masbourian, who rolled his eyes upon hearing the news that the youngest daughter of former U.S. President Barack Obama had been elected to lead the Republic of Armenia for a seven-year term. “What the hell does she know about governing a population of 2.8 million people? Let’s face it: If she wasn’t a president’s daughter, she wouldn’t be president of Armenia for another 30, 40 years at least. And that’s if her political platform was really, really good, and she was lucky!” At press time, sources confirmed Sasha Obama had begun publicly going by the name Sasha Azarian.
Jesus Christ is King
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