Woman Passed Out In Hot Yoga Class Must Have Achieved Nirvana

LAWRENCE, KS—Marveling at their cataleptic classmate as she lay in the middle of the 105-degree room, local yogis speculated Wednesday as to whether a passed-out woman in their hot yoga class had achieved nirvana. “Would you look at that—I guess her consciousness must have transcended her corporeal form and released her from the cycle of samsara,” said yoga instructor Riley Moore, who prodded at the student’s sweat-covered, collapsed body with a rolled-up mat and noted that she exhibited a breathing pattern similar to that of monks in a deep, meditative state. “I don’t know what could have caused her to just drop to the floor all of a sudden like that, aside from the propulsion of her spirit into another realm as she was casting off her mortal body. You see how her eyes have rolled back in her head? That’s because the third eye is all she needs now. We should all be so lucky.” The class reported being especially impressed that the student achieved enlightenment only 20 minutes into her first hot yoga class.