NESSEBAR, BULGARIA—Lamenting that such an enterprise could never exist in the United States, vacationing sources confirmed Thursday that the foreign zoo they were visiting had a cage where they could box a lion. “Wow, for the equivalent of just one American dollar, anyone can apparently enter the cage and spend 30 minutes fighting a very malnourished looking animal,” said tourist Natalie Wolffson, who added that paying customers were provided with boxing gloves and encouraged to repeatedly hit the chained-up, agitated feline while dozens of spectators drank alcoholic beverages and cheered. “I don’t know exactly what any of these signs say, but I do know there’s a man chain-smoking cigarettes with a monkey on his arm, and he seems to be the one in charge. Also, apparently kids are allowed to fight the lion. They get to use a crowbar.” At press time, Wolffson told reporters she had opted to leave the exhibit after the zoo invited three shirtless men with dwarfism, each armed with a stun gun, to fight the lion.
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