Foreign Zoo Has Cage Where Visitors Can Box Lion

NESSEBAR, BULGARIA—Lamenting that such an enterprise could never exist in the United States, vacationing sources confirmed Thursday that the foreign zoo they were visiting had a cage where they could box a lion. “Wow, for the equivalent of just one American dollar, anyone can apparently enter the cage and spend 30 minutes fighting a very malnourished looking animal,” said tourist Natalie Wolffson, who added that paying customers were provided with boxing gloves and encouraged to repeatedly hit the chained-up, agitated feline while dozens of spectators drank alcoholic beverages and cheered. “I don’t know exactly what any of these signs say, but I do know there’s a man chain-smoking cigarettes with a monkey on his arm, and he seems to be the one in charge. Also, apparently kids are allowed to fight the lion. They get to use a crowbar.” At press time, Wolffson told reporters she had opted to leave the exhibit after the zoo invited three shirtless men with dwarfism, each armed with a stun gun, to fight the lion.