ROQUEBRUNE-CAP-MARTIN, FRANCE—Describing a migration pattern that had a devastating effect on prehistoric neighborhoods, archaeologists from the University of California, Berkeley, announced Thursday they had uncovered the first caves gentrified by Homo sapiens. “While excavating caverns in southern France, we discovered what ancient Homo sapiens appear to have identified as an ‘up-and-coming’ series of caves, pushing out the Neanderthals who lived there and then renovating their shelters for a hefty profit,” said Professor Greg Whitley, whose research team explored caves at the Grotte du Vallonnet archaeological site that were over 40,000 years old, had clearly been flipped, and were designed to appeal to young hunter-gatherers seeking a cliff-dwelling lifestyle on the Eurasian landmass. “These caves had been gutted and completely stripped of their original character, which would have once included stone tools, crude representational paintings, and the remains of animals eaten by Neanderthals. It’s clear these Homo sapiens priced out the Neanderthals who had lived in this region for nearly 100,000 years, eventually causing their extinction.” The archaeologists added that they had also found evidence of large suburban caves the Homo sapiens moved to once they decided to have kids and live closer to their parents.
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