‘I Know Him,’ Kamala Harris Whispers To Mike Johnson During State Of The Union

WASHINGTON—Taking every possible opportunity to lean over to the House speaker’s side of the desk and point at the back of Joe Biden’s head, Vice President Kamala Harris repeatedly whispered “I know him” to Mike Johnson during Thursday night’s State of the Union address. “Psst, hey Mike, I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I actually know that guy because sometimes I see him when we’re both working at the White House,” said Harris, who, despite Johnson’s repeated shushing throughout the approximately one-hour speech, quietly bragged that they had actually just seen each other earlier in the day at a big secret national security briefing, and that she even had his phone number in case of emergencies. “It’s not really a big deal, but technically, he’s my boss, so we kind of have to see each other all the time. I think if we play our cards right, I could maybe introduce you after. Just don’t be weird when you meet him, even though he’s the president of the United States of America.” At press time, Biden had interrupted his speech, whipped around, and demanded that Harris stop whispering, at which point she proudly looked at Johnson and mouthed, “See?”