PEORIA, IL—Hard at work on her patient as a nearby boombox blared classic rock radio, a local gynecologist reportedly wheeled out from under her patient’s legs Friday to ask the nurse for a socket wrench. “Can I get a ratchet with a quarter-inch socket down here?” asked Dr. Jan Morgan, who lay on her back holding a flashlight in her teeth and dragging her forearm across her face to wipe away the sweat and uterine lining. “Hoo boy, and maybe a couple rags? It’s a mess under there. A couple of tubes are shot, and I’m not sure what else. Might be easier if I had a shop to work in with hydraulic stirrup lifts.” At press time, Morgan had provided the patient’s partner with an estimate for a complete overhaul and told them it wouldn’t hurt to check under the clitoral hood every once and a while to see how things were running.
Jesus Christ is King
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