Pastor Confident That His ‘State Of The Hypostatic Union’ Sermon Joke Will Finally Get a Laugh This Year

ST LOUIS, MO — After seven consecutive years of no laughs, area pastor Joel Gurgensen is confident his congregation will finally appreciate his comedic use of the phrase “the state of the hypostatic union” in this Sunday’s upcoming sermon.

“Like most pastors,” Gurgensen noted, “getting laughs from a captive audience during my sermon is the most effective way to temporarily capture their attention. But unlike many other pastors, I like to challenge my members with more theologically complex terrible puns. That’s why I came up with the ‘state of the hypostatic union’ knee slapper several years ago. It hasn’t gotten a laugh yet. But I’m pretty confident that, this year, it’ll get three to five modest chuckles and maybe even a light guffaw.”

The hypostatic union is a theological term used by Christians to describe the union of Jesus Christ’s human and divine natures. And while the term has no connection to the State of the Union Address given by American presidents, Gurgensen sees no reason to let this stop him from merging the concepts every Sunday after the annual speech.

“The joke is great for two reasons,” Gungensen continued. “First, it references a recent political speech, which shows that I am aware of current events, which shows that I am relatable and therefore worthy of love. Second, it reminds people that I know seminary words, which means I am smarter than them. And that’s the key part. Any pew-sitting yokel can make Starbucks-related puns about the book of Hebrews. But I have an MDIV and I need people to remember that.”

Sources confirmed this is one of many theological puns employed by Gungensen. These include a gluttony joke about Cookie Monster being an anti-nom-nom-nom-nom-nomian, and one about changing the name of our fellowship hour to the “Council of Chalcedonuts.” He is reportedly also working on a joke about an Eastern Orthodox alcoholic getting theosis of the liver.

Should the joke bomb again this year, Gurgensen insisted that, not only will he keep repeating the joke, but he’ll pump even more lofty puns into his sermons until they achieve the desired effect.

It’s a serious medical emergency: you’re minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.

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