EDMONTON – Like countless families across Canada before them, the Milbanks are the latest to open their mail and discover a summons, meaning that they are legally compelled to serve out their duty as contestants on CBC’s Family Feud Canada.
With only a few days’ notice to appear on a Toronto soundstage, the Milbanks (father Travis, mother Janice, son Alex, daughter Trina, and grandmother Ruth-Anne) are now required to make their way to downtown Toronto. There they can expect to serve on the Family Feud panel for as few as one day, or as long as one week, depending on how many takes get blown by host Gerry Dee’s visible disinterest in being present.
According to the CBC summons, the Milbanks family’s employers are required by law to give them time off to appear as contestants on Family Feud Canada, though not legally required to pay them during said days off. While serving out their on-air duty, the Milbanks will each be remunerated a daily walk on rate of $9, less ACTRA fees.
“Aw geez, this game show lands right in the middle of the big Henderson presentation I’ve been preparing for,” complained Gregory, 32. “I would try to get a deferral for this summons, but we already did that last year so that we wouldn’t miss my grandfather’s funeral.”
Once in Toronto, the Milbanks are asked to bring their summons, a piece of government-issued identification, and a fun little group dance to perform when the family is introduced at the top of the episode. Families serving out their civic duty will remain sequestered in the Downtown Toronto Holiday Inn Express with their phones and electronic devices confiscated, lest they use them to look up the top 8 most popular spices found in a kitchen.
“I was at least a little excited when I thought I’d get to meet Steve Harvey, that guy’s hilarious” explained Alex, 15. “But then I found out it’s hosted by some guy named Mr. D, who used to be on a show that was apparently also called Mr. D? Was the title some kind of dick joke or something?”
“I can’t believe I have to miss a karate tournament for this,” added Alex, as he studied the top 5 special occasions that husbands forget.
Reports indicate some Canadian families are ignoring their Family Feud Canada summons, instead willing to risk 3-4 months in Millhaven maximum security penitentiary. To understand this trend we surveyed 100 Canadians on their greatest fear, and 99 of them said “appearing on Family Feud Canada”.
“I thought there might be a chance of getting us dismissed from Feud Duty if I just said I was prejudiced against all blonde male comedians,” explained a dejected Janice, 33. “But apparently disqualified families have to sit in the studio audience for the rest of the season. No thank you.”
The Milbanks report initially hoping that daughter, Trina, 11 could be exempt from panelist duty, though a recent lowering of the Family Feud Canada age limit to 10 years old scuttled this.
“It might not be glamorous, but my Social Studies teacher says appearing on Family Feud Canada is what makes this country great,” notes Trina. “Plus, at least I know that nobody I know will ever end up watching it.”
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