Man Thoughtfully Responds To Wife’s Nine-Paragraph Text About Her Day With A Thumbs-Up Emoji

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — In what observers believe to be a significant step forward in the area of marital interaction, a local man thoughtfully responded to his wife’s nine-paragraph text about her day with a thumbs-up emoji.

Rob Taylor patiently and thoroughly read through his wife Melissa’s encyclopedic tome recounting every detail of her day and lovingly took a brief moment to reply with a heartfelt yellow thumbs-up to let her know how supportive he was.

“I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her text,” Rob said. “I pride myself on being an attentive husband and catering to my wife’s needs in the most tender and sensitive way possible. The thumbs-up should do it.”

Though his wife had spent over an hour compiling draft after draft of what would eventually become the final version of her text message, Rob deftly determined the yellow thumbs-up emoji to be the perfect response. “She’ll be so relieved to hear back from me,” he said. “When your wife pours her heart out like that in such a vulnerable way, it’s important to let her know you care.”

Rob expressed confidence that the thumbs-up would be sufficient to serve as an effective reply to Melissa telling him about how wild the kids were during breakfast, the weird dream she had last night, her awkward phone call with her sister, her shock at how expensive mangos were at the grocery store, and the ugly look the Starbucks barista gave her at the drive-through.

At publishing time, Rob said his wife had not yet responded to his thumbs-up, though the tell-tale “…” displayed in their text conversation for the last 45 minutes was an indication that it would be coming soon.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King