Millions Of British Kids Forced To Live Normal, Happy Lives After UK Bans Puberty Blockers

LONDON, UK — The National Health Service of the United Kingdom announced Monday they will no longer permit children to be prescribed puberty blockers, a move many gender-ideology advocates worry will force otherwise depressed and troubled kids to live normal, happy lives.

“This is a travesty and an outrage,” gender activist and purple hair aficionado Clara Domino told reporters. “Without puberty blockers, kids with mental disorders will be forced to receive actual, data-driven treatment that might actually lead them to grow out of their gender dysphoria and become happy, healthy adults. This is the opposite of what the transgender movement stands for.”

Experts warn that without delayed puberty, British kids will grow normally and likely spend their days doing delightful British kid things, such as neighborhood games of Conkers, Poohsticks, or Tiddlywinks.

The NHS cited a growing body of research that outlines the harmful side effects of such treatments. Advocates for transing kids and teens rebuked the move and said it might lead to kids growing up, getting married, having a family, and being normal, productive members of society.

“How can we deny kids their right to make permanent, life-changing medical decisions based on one or two short doctor appointments?” Domino said. “If we can’t get them when they’re kids to buy into the idea that they’re ‘born in the wrong body’, how will we be able to do it when they’re older and their cerebral cortexes are fully formed? This is trans genocide!”

As of publishing time, gender-ideology advocates took to the streets in London to protest the decision and announced they plan to look for new, more creative ways to sneak sterilization drugs into the healthy bodies of kids and teens.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King