The country seems more divided than ever these days, and it only gets more intense with it being an election year. It’s common, however, to focus so much on our differences that we lose sight of the things on which we all agree. What things could those possibly be, you may ask?
The Babylon Bee is here with the definitive list of where Democrats and Republicans see eye to eye:
- Libertarians are weird: Everybody knows at least one, and that’s enough.
- Pineapple does not belong on pizza: Only the most evil among us could do such a thing.
- There are genders: How many? There’s not as much agreement on that part.
- There’s holding on pretty much every single NFL play: The refs just call it when they feel like it.
- Five Guys is way too expensive: Even before inflation completely tanked the economy.
- January 6th is a day: The significance of that day is up for debate.
- Toilet paper goes in the “over” position: People who do it “under” are not a part of civilization.
- Everyone is happy Seth Rogen isn’t having children: He’s happy. We’re happy. Let’s keep it that way.
- Bananas are bad as soon as you see the first brown spot: Nobody eats brown bananas. We’re trying to have a society here.
- Joe Biden is old: Bipartisanship really does exist!
See, things aren’t always polar opposites, even in Washington, D.C. Now reach out to your friends across the political aisle, spend some time together, and laugh at your Libertarian friends.
When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee
Comments are closed.