U.S. — An attack by a cell belonging to a violent extremist group was averted last week, as terrorists decided against hijacking a plane after finding out it was made by Boeing.
The hijacking, which was allegedly planned to be carried out over the weekend, was called off at the last minute after the group of terrorists behind the plot discovered the flight they were targeting was a Boeing 737, which meant everyone on board — including the terrorists — would be in serious danger.
“We’re not going anywhere near that deathtrap,” said terrorist Abu Musab Alwani, who masterminded the planned attack. “We are very zealous for our faith and deeply committed to our cause of ridding our holy lands of crusading infidels, but have you seen the news lately? Parts of these planes are falling off in mid-air. These Boeing aircraft are simply not safe for hijacking.”
Though officials with the Department of Homeland Security refused to make any official statements about the canceled terrorist attack, one insider confirmed the report on the condition of anonymity. “Yes, it’s true,” the source said. “They had spent months meticulously planning out every detail of the hijacking, but they weren’t sure what make and model of aircraft it would be. Once they realized it was a Boeing plane, they chickened out. Way too high-risk.”
When asked why they became resistant to hijack a Boeing plane, the terrorists said the decision was simple. “It’s too unpredictable,” Alwani said. “When we’re going to hijack a plane and potentially kill ourselves and everyone on board, we want it to be our doing, not due to some horrible malfunction.”
At publishing time, Alwani said the cell was still very much open to hijacking planes made by other manufacturers as long as the doors, wings, and wheels would stay on.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.