I See You, Report Sources Looking Through Empty Paper Towel Roll

SISSETON, SD—Following an enunciation that emphasized each syllable of the word “peekaboo,” sources looking through an empty paper towel roll announced Thursday that they see you. “I spy with my little eye…someone who is you!” said the squinting sources, who later repeated the phrase “I see you” with the paper towel held to their mouth as though it were a megaphone. “Land ho! Oh, no—enemy sighted off the port bow! Luckily my periscope doubles as a sword. It can bop you on your head.” At press time, sources were reportedly playing the empty paper towel roll like a didgeridoo.