Everything Lara Trump Plans To Do After RNC Takeover

And the RNC is going to pay for it.

It probably won’t work, but it’s worth a shot.

It’s been a few weeks.

Lara believes segregating the office will streamline discrimination.

The best start to any day, regardless of plans to overthrow democracy.

We’re so sorry, Mr. Trump—you just missed your wife on her way out to lunch.

Chair just sounds so much more impressive than co-chair.

If you think the migrants will have it bad, you have no idea what’s in store for the walnuts.

First and foremost, Lara Trump wants to make loads and loads of cash from this sweet gig.

D.C. is expensive, and with Donald Trump’s legal bills to pay, it really makes more sense to relocate to somewhere like Knoxville and save on rent.

It will be important to have plenty on hand at any given moment for the plans her team has in store.

The medspa gives her a 15% discount for every referral she sends their way.

Insult loves injury.

To make her stance against the gender-fluid population clear, Lara Trump will take a huge enough dump to make the gender-neutral toilets unusable.

In order to cut costs, human resources will be replaced with a man who comes up behind employees and feels them up without their consent.

It happens to everyone.

Lara Trump plans to dry heave until she vomits bile every time she looks at her phone and sees her husband calling.

GOP voters are more comfortable with Laura, which sounds whiter.

It’s important she gets straight to work on the official RNC duties.

To be fair, it’s in the job description.

Powerful positions in this country have their perks.

Sorry, Eric, she’s pulling an all-nighter in the office again with the handsome young intern.