Jesus' Coming Back

What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Start Slideshow
Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Presidential candidate Donald Trump recently remarked that if he loses the 2024 election it will “be a bloodbath for the country.” The Onion examines what he might have meant by the statement.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

It was about how Trump and his supporters will slaughter everyone with whom they disagree

It was about how Trump and his supporters will slaughter everyone with whom they disagree

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Pretty straightforward, honestly.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

All the stabbing

All the stabbing

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Stabbing and stabbing and stabbing with a sharp, blood-stained knife can often get messy.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Race war

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

At least he came right out and said it.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He meant to say ‘bloodhound’

He meant to say ‘bloodhound’

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Awwwww! Look at that little droopy face! Look at it!

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He was referring to familicide

He was referring to familicide

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

No need to panic. Trump doesn’t plan on committing violence against anyone other than his loved ones.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

It was just his old catchphrase from ‘The Apprentice’

It was just his old catchphrase from ‘The Apprentice’

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

When Trump hosted the popular reality television program, he famously referenced the bloodshed of his enemies and called immigrants animals.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Trump meant it as a Rorschach test

Trump meant it as a Rorschach test

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

What you interpreted when you heard him predict a bloodbath says more about you than about Trump. He was merely holding up a mirror to your subconscious.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Forgot he ate beets

Forgot he ate beets

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

The rally caught him in a moment of panic after using the restroom.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

It was about the auto industry

It was about the auto industry

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Although the ‘bloodbath’ comments sound alarming out of context, Trump was simply threatening to personally lock the doors of the Ford plant with everyone inside and light it on fire.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Who knows?

Who knows?

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter what Trump said—it only matters how he made you feel.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Trump was warning about the ‘bald booth’ using an anagram

Trump was warning about the ‘bald booth’ using an anagram

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Trump was referring to the fact that if he is not elected in November, Democrats will set up special booths in Chili’s where only bald men can sit and talk about bald things.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He’s hallucinating again

He’s hallucinating again

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Looks like he’s having one of his episodes. Better tie him down so he doesn’t hurt himself.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

It was a mistranslation

It was a mistranslation

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Due to Trump’s propensity to deliver speeches in the more literary Old Church Slavonic, subpar translators often take creative liberties.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He meant to say there would be a bloodbath regardless of whether he wins or loses

He meant to say there would be a bloodbath regardless of whether he wins or loses

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

The threat of violence is not conditional—it’s assured!

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He’s addicted to violent video games

He’s addicted to violent video games

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Losing the election means he’ll have even more time to play, which could cause the lines between reality and Grand Theft Auto to blur even more.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He was threatening suicide

He was threatening suicide

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

In order to elicit sympathy, Trump was trying to say that if he lost, he was going to slit his wrists in the tub for real this time.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He was referring to the Swedish death metal supergroup

He was referring to the Swedish death metal supergroup

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Trump is a massive fan of Opeth, Katatonia, and Paradise Lost, so when you put their members together? That’s a match made in hell.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

That he’ll put on his extra sharp dentures if he loses

That he’ll put on his extra sharp dentures if he loses

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

If Biden emerges victorious in 2024, Trump has threatened to wear his vampire dentures and bite Democrats’ necks.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

That Biden would trip and fall

That Biden would trip and fall

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Trump’s allies said he was extremely nervous that Biden would trip, fall, and accidentally break something if he wasn’t careful.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

All the blood he would order his supporters to donate to the Red Cross

All the blood he would order his supporters to donate to the Red Cross

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

On day one of his second term, Trump has vowed to order every single one of his supporters to converge on Red Cross headquarters and donate several liters of blood.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Gutting the consolation fish

Gutting the consolation fish

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

He’s keeping a gigantic blue marlin alive in a tank to drown his sorrows with should the election not go his way.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

That his kidney stones would act up again

That his kidney stones would act up again

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

All the stress of losing would calcify small stones in his ureter and cause him to pee blood.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He watched ‘The Shining’ again right before bed

He watched ‘The Shining’ again right before bed

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

This is exactly what happened last time Melania let him watch it.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

That he is a maniacal, bloodthirsty dictator who would kill anyone who had opposed him

That he is a maniacal, bloodthirsty dictator who would kill anyone who had opposed him

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

He keeps trying to clarify this, but the media keeps spreading lies and calling it a gaffe.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

He meant he was going to kill you, specifically

He meant he was going to kill you, specifically

Image for article titled What Trump Meant By There Would Be A ‘Bloodbath’ If He Loses

Advertisement

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More